Well, I got it in my head that I wanted to write an application for the S60 3rd Ed. platform, the same one that runs on my Nokia E61. So first things first, I head over and download the SDK from Symbain, which requires registration, but I’m used to that so I don’t mind. Well, there are two downloads … the SDK files … and then the recommended IDE to build the application in without the SDK files. Which brings me to the first way to make developers hate your platform.

1. Make the IDE not include the SDK files

OK, I get that not everyone wants to use Carbide.c++ to develop their application in … especially since Nokia charges for it. And just so you know, Carbide.c++ is nothing more than Eclipse SDK with Nokia’s extra bells and whistles.

2. Steal open source IDE’s and call them your own

Screw that, I’ll use my copy of Visual Studio and run with it for free and not pay for your more than likely busted-ass Eclipse plug-in. I’m sure that if I really wanted, I could break apart your stupid Carbide.c++ plug-in to not require any registration for all your “features” in your stolen IDE. Whatever, I’ll start downloading the 400mb of SDK from Nokia and while that downloads and I’ll read some more on how to build a Symbian application instead of wasting my time (I like Visual Studio better for Windows style development anyway.)

Now if you’ve never played with a Nokia application, all of the applications have to be signed with a certificate … which is really, REALLY frustrating. You can’t install an application unless it has been signed, which brings about the question, “Why the frick can’t I choose what to install on my phone???” It’s my phone, if I want to melt it into a pile of goo after I write 0-s to the stupid flash module on it, I should be able to do that … especially if I’m a developer.

Well, alright, I’ll go get a certificate so I can test my application on my own phone. There are a ton of places that tell you how to do this. Here, here, or here … but they’ve all been replaced with go to SymbianSigned.com method. Fine, I’ll go here and get a certificate … oh wait, I can’t, I have to register to get a developer certificate. OK, I’ll register … again … CRAP!

Your email has address has been rejected as we do not accept registrations from publicly available email domains (e.g. gmail, yahoo, hotmail etc).

Well, I’m glad I have another domain name in my pocket … not everyone does Symbian, you flippin’ jackasses. Alright, now I’m registered at another site (that I couldn’t use my perfered email address at) so I can get a developer certificate just for my phone. Which brings me to my next way to make developers hate you:

3. Make it so developers can’t test their applications without restrictions

Trying to get a certificate results in a:

Your request has failed. Reason:
-Developer Certificates will be ENABLED for users who have a Publisher ID ONLY
-ONLY if you used a Publisher ID to create a .csr file with the DevCertCreate tool will you be able to use Open Signed Offline to create a Developer Certificate.
-Developer Certificates are currently DISABLED for users without a Publisher ID. Users who DO NOT have a Publisher ID CANNOT request Developer Certificates or use Open Signed Offline.
-If you have recently obtained a Publisher ID and are unable to create a Developer Certificate using Open Signed Offline please request support through the Symbian Signed forum on the Symbian Developer Network.

4. Make the development process painful by requiring developers to send you their applications before usage.

Well that’s just fricken great, I can’t even test my application on MY PHONE THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY MONEY. FINE, where do I get the stupid fricken Publisher ID? Oh wait, that’s $200 per year to get a certificate (A.K.A Publisher ID) so you can take your stupid application, submit it to THEIR test center, so they can charge you $20 for each submission that THEY HAVE TO TEST so that it can be Symbian signed so “normal” users can actually install your application.

F – THAT!

I’m not going to pay $200/year so I can give away an application for free. I’ll go write apps for Windows Mobile or the fricken iPhone or some other platform because of this crap. Screw you Symbian. Screw you.