Hacker for Hire

Alright America … sit down, shut up, and listen because I’m pulling out the soap box for this one.

I am tired, mentally and physically, of this crap. I’m not sure who perpetuated this self-indulgent bullcrap where people are “too sensitive” to hear about how poorly the are performing. I don’t know where this stigma came from that we can’t call people out for doing a terrible job, but it’s got to end … I mean it’s really got to end.

If I hear one more bullcrap line about, “Well, we’ll need to talk with so-and-so’s manager about that… blah, blah, blah.” BULLSHIT!!!

If they suck, tell them they suck! My word people … the only thing worse than the people that aren’t doing squat is the fact that we have a system that lets them do squat and get away with it. Screw that crap sideways. If you see someone sucking it up, and you don’t call it out … NEWSFLASH!!! you suck just as bad because you aren’t doing your job!

I’m not telling anyone to be a tattle-tale over who drank the last cup of coffee or stupid crap like that, but you know that point where someone is pulling this bullcrap. It’s about two steps before the everyone talks to each other behind the slackers back about how bad they are slacking, but no one has told the slacker or the person responsible for the slacker. Screw that! Call them out, tear them a new rectum, and let them know they suck in front of about half of your team and at least one manager who’s job is on the line for this person to perform properly.

I think we need to get some more public ridicule involved in the workplace. How many people do you think would shape up if they knew that their slacking would be splayed out the whole world too see??? Statistics show that one of the most important things to people at their place of employment is the perception of how they are recognized by their peers … with that little tidbit of info, seems to me that I’ve got a whole new motivational scheme going on here. Who wants hire me out for “Kick You’re Employees Asses’ Into Gear Classes?” Email wyatt@hackerforhire.org for pricing and scheduling information.

I know that I’ve done a terrible job at updating my blog with my latest rants, raves, recipes, and letters from retards; however, I’m going to change that for this year. You can call it a resolution, but the reality is that I miss writing about nit-wits

So in an effort to kick it off right, I thought it might be a nice change of pace to show you just what kind of interesting stuff the blog gets to see, but no one else does.

Top Search Term
This is the one that blew me away … top search phrases for this site are a riot

1. apple dip recipe
2. revenge stories
3. hacker codes
4. code snippet
5. trac pam
6. swfupload upload_script
7. evil ideas
8. ffmpeg 3gp codec
9. use firefox to hack it someone’s myspace

Where the hell is “hacker codes” coming from??? I mean, it brings up the Code Snippet page … but that doesn’t even come close to what I would take that to mean. An the last one … that is my absolute favorite because there were at least 3 separate people that searched for that, 3 different IP’s on 3 different days (different states too). I have no idea how the hell someone would come the the conclusion that Firefox would be the best tool to “hack” MySpace.com, but just … wow. I see that I also need to increase my evil output as well from what the search results show.

Most View Page [on site]
The page most clicked on, view, whatever-ed from the front page is … The Apple Dip recipe! Apparently, people love the apple dip so I’ll see what I can do to put up some new recipes at some point in time, but I never thought people would come here for food

Most View Page [referred]
The most view page … “Code Snippet 2.0″ I’d have to say that hosting this plug-in has taken up more time that I could ever imagine; but it’s been so worth it. I really wish that I had time to do all the other fun things I’d want to with it, but sadly it gets a lower priority. From seeing the number of page views (3800+), I think that I’m going to have to do just a little bit more work on it.

That’s all I have for 2007, I hope that I’ll have more in 2008.

Ok, I understand that people like to take pictures with their camera phone, I’ve come to terms with that … barely; however, there is something I feel I need to say. If you are going to take pictures on your phone, expect that at some point in the future, someone WILL look at the pictures on your phone.

That being said, if you are going to take nude or possibly compromising photos … and leave your phone sitting out on somewhere with the camera running … you must naturally expect that someone is going to see those photos.

Just so you know, this is going to put whoever looks at the pictures is in a slightly awkward position … especially when you know that person. On another related noted, it also makes that original person who is now either quickly snapping the phone shut or staring at the train wreck a lot more uncomfortable when someone else comes up behind them and asks to see the photos or ask what they were looking at. Responding “It was ____ and ____ doing the horizontal mambo and their junk was hanging out all over the place.” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well when you are serious about it

In reality, this goes for any digital-photography device. So on behalf of the world … don’t share that stuff unless you are sure the others would like to see it.

I’m a pretty big fan of Vmware. As a developer, it’s almost become an essential tool of the trade for keeping around different systems to test with, etc. so when the new beta version was released, I was right there to sign up. Here’s a few of my thoughts on the new beta.

First off, I swear to god Vmware, FIX YOUR DAMNED REGISTRATION FORM!!! I don’t need to fill out 75 fricken check boxes, including checking a check box that says “I’m not going to check any of these check boxes,” to try and register … especially if I have an account at your site. If I have an account, I should just be able to log in, register for my key, and start downloading. If this is the first impression people get of your site, what do you think they are going to think about your product? Exactly. Fix it.

Second, I don’t know why there is this need to shove Vmware Infrastructure down my throat, but you seem to feel the need to. Guess what, 70% of developers don’t need that type of system. Now some people that have to do really, really tricky multi-threaded, super-uptime system … but not me. Stop trying to force me to use something you think I want when for once, the customer actually KNOWS what they want.

Third, where did my windowed interface go??? You’ve replaced my nice, speedy, clean Windows/GTK application with a crap-ass Tomcat Java web-app. I understand the pain and suffering trying to build and maintain 2 different UIs; however, you went completely the wrong way with it. You should have just stuck with the GTK version of the application … cause you know, it runs on Linux and Windows! Damn you to hell with a stick and your stupid web-app up your ear sideways. It used to take me about 15 seconds to define a new system; however, thanks to the new and worthless UI that was obviously skanked from Vmware Infrastructure (there you go, shoving it down my throat again), it takes me almost a minute because of how terrible this new interface is. Don’t get me wrong, I like the new “System Summary” page, and it was missing from 1.0, but the other sacrifices just aren’t worth it. And before you go off into criticizing my hardware, 2.0GB at 2Ghz is enough to run Tomcat’s crappiness.

Other than that, the improved hardware (love the USB 2.0) and the currently running VM’s do great. Keep up the good work … and fix the damned registration page.

To the woman who question my automotive cornering ethics & capabilities at Sampson & Montgomery, you’re lucky there wasn’t a cop around. In the grand state of Ohio, as well as the rest of the United States, we do something called “driving on the right hand side of the road.” Now, I know that doesn’t mean a lot to someone with bug-eye sunglasses and severe learning disorder such as yourself, but to the rest of us, that concept hopefully prevents morons from driving down the wrong side of the road. That sort of thing generally causes loud sounds, blood, and paperwork … and no one likes paperwork.

Now since we have this fun “driving on the right hand side of the road” concept, the really smart people came up with the idea that people who are turning right also have something called the “right of way.” Impressively enough, it means just what it sounds like … the person turning right has priority in completing their turn (I’m sure you understand this since you’ve probably shoved your way to the front of the fat-sack line numerous times). What this also means is that if someone is turning right at an intersection before an obviously incompetent person such as yourself is attempting to turn left at the same intersection … the ‘left-turner’ must yield the right of way, something you obviously didn’t want to do … yet were “forced” into doing by the observation that I “might” have splatted you.

So for future reference you bag of vaginal dirt, yield the right of way unless you want to deal with loud sounds, blood, paperwork, and you loosing the license you probably don’t have anyway.

Sincerely,
Wyatt

PS: Don’t look at me, you’re ugly. Skank.

It’s not until you can’t have something that you really start to crave it (many people do this with sex or air I’ve been told). I really had no idea how much I would miss water, let alone how much of it I drink in a day, until I couldn’t get it anywhere without purchasing it in a bottle. After the second coke / beer / Chamoy-martini (a very “mexican” drink as it was described), I was jonesin’ for some high quality H2O. The chances of someone blackmailing me with pictures of me … doing whatever, are zero in comparison for how quickly I’d sell out for a tank of ice cold water.

It probably didn’t help me that I spent the most blistering part of the day walking around Playa for shopping and then laying out by (not in) the pool, but we did manage to pickup a really nice silver bracelet for pretty cheap and a nice Mayian calendar for some wall at home. It occurs to me that while in Playa, being out before 6PM is a really terrible idea because it’s just nuts hot; however, after that life becomes more bearable.

We decided to hit Italian for dinner (yeah, in Mexico, yuk it up) at a place called ‘Salute.’ This place is know for it’s martinis and our hotel was kind enough to get up two free ones just for showing up and eating. Their signature drink is called the ‘Chamoy Martini’ and is described as “very” Mexican … translation, fricken spicy. It’s kind of like a good tasting bloody Mary, but with an instant burn instead of the Tabasco-lingering affect. Two cokes, two nice entrees and 2 free martinis came out to ~$40 American by the time tip as added. Not to shabby for the amazingly upscale joint that we were eating at; however, it didn’t have the same botulism feel that the $7pesos taco stand had. We decided that “Don Marios” on 8th and 10th had some pretty decent Mexican food, without the fear of extreme food poisoning.

Rounding out the day was a nice walk down 5th street to find the 7/11 with bottled water; however, we ended up walking all the way down town without finding the damn place (yeah, it was over in Cozumel … oops). Against my better judgment, I purchased a real, honest to goodness Cuban cigar. Now, I’m no smoker … heck, I’ve never smoked anything other than second hand smoke in my entire life, but I figured this would be the one time in my life that I would get to try something you can’t get (legally) in America. More on that after I try it. After we got back from our excursion down the street, we took a bunch of cool night shots at the hotel. Tomorrow, we pickup the Wrangler & head off to Chitzen Itza.

As we were sitting at the Delta hub, waiting for our plane, it occurred to me that I don’t really do well with being patient at the airport (much less other places). Sitting around waiting was terribly annoying; however, I found a cool, pseudo-useless gadget … the Quick Charger! It’s a nifty little do-dad that ou can pay $3 to charge your device of preference for 30min. The best part was that there are about 20 cable that are 6″ long to plug your whatever in. I figure that this must be some sort of marketing major’s idea because it had blinking light, neon, shinny stuff, and other sort of seizure hoopla all over it, but only a few places to actually “hold” your gadget. So I guess the idea is that you pay $3 to stand for 30 minutes at the airport holding your cellphone into the precariously designed metal sticks whilst being accosted by the seizure box. I can imagine it would be more entertaining to have 20 people trying to use this magic box at the same time. Man, I would pay for that picture … 15-20 business people trying to charge & email on their BlackBerrys while a gang of 12 year olds fight to get the last iPod jack … and they are epilepting. But now its time to get on the plane and actually get the heck out of dodge.
Continue reading ‘Mexico Trip 1 – First Day in Mexico’ »

Well, we are getting ready to head off to Mexico, Playa del Carmen to be specific. I’m going to try and keep the best journal / travel log as possible; however, I’m probably not going to get the chance to update my blog daily. The plan is to cram in as many details on where we went, pictures to prove that it happened, and all sorts of other gory details in case anyone else ever travels there

Anyway, I’m going to finish packing and I’ll be back after I’ve hiked the ruins of the once mighty Mayan’s.

The grand-fricken-pubah’s over at Bungie can kiss my ass! I pay $50 bucks a year to use the Xbox live service, I’ll be damned if I’m going to pay $4 for 2 more crappy ass maps so I can play Halo 2 online. I could play it online before, and I should still be able to play it online now. You can go straight to hell and when you get there, I’m going to make damn sure I’m the guy lashing your pasty white ass for this load of horse crap. Having “Premium” content for players to play in “Premium” areas is one thing; however, bending the average Halo player over, forcing them to purchase to play the standard array of services, and making them take it up the ass so you can drive two Porsches instead of one is crap of the highest degree.

Go F*ck yourselves you ass-blasting mongoloids . I hope to hell someone backs over your shit in the drive way when your loser lovers toss it out the second story window after they caught you taking it in the ear from the cat. When they do, call me, I’ll come over and piss on it and take a tire-iron to your knee.

Nothing really important, just crossed the 600-mile mark on my Yamaha. That’s right, first service and everything is Saturday. I felt the need to change the oil since it’s going to be over 600-miles by the time I get into the service place. As with any freakiod mechanic, I always feel the need to try out my handy work, including oil changes.

It reminded me of working on my old Grand Cherokee and how nice it ran right after a fresh oil change. Needless to say, riding the FZ6 right after an oil change brings the same sort of smile to your face .