Hacker for Hire

I’ve had my same Windows XP and Office 2003 installation for at least 3 years and I have to say that I cannot understand why I have had to install at least 25 different releases of Microsoft’s Genuine Advantage software. Every time I need to do an update, “We need to make sure you’re version of Windows hasn’t been stolen since the last month you did an update.” It makes me the kind of nuts that only leads to carbines and random notes. I just don’t understand how I’m going to ‘re-steal’ a version of Windows if I haven’t stolen it the first 25 times. And secondly, why in the hell would I steal it? You’re pretty damned optimistic there Microsoft if you think anyone would steal crap.

Popularity: 76% [?]

As a developer, I constantly use API’s and platforms created by others to develop software … just like every other developer in the world.

Well, I got it in my head that I wanted to write an application for the S60 3rd Ed. platform, the same one that runs on my Nokia E61. So first things first, I head over and download the SDK from Symbain, which requires registration, but I’m used to that so I don’t mind. Well, there are two downloads … the SDK files … and then the recommended IDE to build the application in without the SDK files. Which brings me to the first way to make developers hate your platform.

1. Make the IDE not include the SDK files

OK, I get that not everyone wants to use Carbide.c++ to develop their application in … especially since Nokia charges for it. And just so you know, Carbide.c++ is nothing more than Eclipse SDK with Nokia’s extra bells and whistles.

2. Steal open source IDE’s and call them your own

Screw that, I’ll use my copy of Visual Studio and run with it for free and not pay for your more than likely busted-ass Eclipse plug-in. I’m sure that if I really wanted, I could break apart your stupid Carbide.c++ plug-in to not require any registration for all your “features” in your stolen IDE. Whatever, I’ll start downloading the 400mb of SDK from Nokia and while that downloads and I’ll read some more on how to build a Symbian application instead of wasting my time (I like Visual Studio better for Windows style development anyway.)

Now if you’ve never played with a Nokia application, all of the applications have to be signed with a certificate … which is really, REALLY frustrating. You can’t install an application unless it has been signed, which brings about the question, “Why the frick can’t I choose what to install on my phone???” It’s my phone, if I want to melt it into a pile of goo after I write 0-s to the stupid flash module on it, I should be able to do that … especially if I’m a developer.

Well, alright, I’ll go get a certificate so I can test my application on my own phone. There are a ton of places that tell you how to do this. Here, here, or here … but they’ve all been replaced with go to SymbianSigned.com method. Fine, I’ll go here and get a certificate … oh wait, I can’t, I have to register to get a developer certificate. OK, I’ll register … again … CRAP!

Your email has address has been rejected as we do not accept registrations from publicly available email domains (e.g. gmail, yahoo, hotmail etc).

Well, I’m glad I have another domain name in my pocket … not everyone does Symbian, you flippin’ jackasses. Alright, now I’m registered at another site (that I couldn’t use my perfered email address at) so I can get a developer certificate just for my phone. Which brings me to my next way to make developers hate you:

3. Make it so developers can’t test their applications without restrictions

Trying to get a certificate results in a:

Your request has failed. Reason:
-Developer Certificates will be ENABLED for users who have a Publisher ID ONLY
-ONLY if you used a Publisher ID to create a .csr file with the DevCertCreate tool will you be able to use Open Signed Offline to create a Developer Certificate.
-Developer Certificates are currently DISABLED for users without a Publisher ID. Users who DO NOT have a Publisher ID CANNOT request Developer Certificates or use Open Signed Offline.
-If you have recently obtained a Publisher ID and are unable to create a Developer Certificate using Open Signed Offline please request support through the Symbian Signed forum on the Symbian Developer Network.

4. Make the development process painful by requiring developers to send you their applications before usage.

Well that’s just fricken great, I can’t even test my application on MY PHONE THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY MONEY. FINE, where do I get the stupid fricken Publisher ID? Oh wait, that’s $200 per year to get a certificate (A.K.A Publisher ID) so you can take your stupid application, submit it to THEIR test center, so they can charge you $20 for each submission that THEY HAVE TO TEST so that it can be Symbian signed so “normal” users can actually install your application.

F - THAT!

I’m not going to pay $200/year so I can give away an application for free. I’ll go write apps for Windows Mobile or the fricken iPhone or some other platform because of this crap. Screw you Symbian. Screw you.

Popularity: 81% [?]

Today will mark the second time that I will have willingly yielded to an opponent based solely on the preferences of the other members of my group.

The last time I did this, I said that action of appeasement to a empty threat would provide a continued channel of abuse from a former customer; however, I was outvoted and went along with the consensus of the group. Four months went by and as I predicted, our former customer contacted us again to ask services we had provided once before. Again, I followed the actions of appeasement to “prevent any possible legal issues” that could arise.

You can say that I’m just being proud, headstrong, reckless, or whatever you’d like to call me. But I do not believe in being bullied. As is such, I have a very difficult time standing behind my decision. For some people standing behind something you don’t believe in doesn’t seem to be a very big deal; however, my conscious nags me to the point of insanity for following by decision I do not believe in.

That makes two. There will not be a third.

Popularity: 56% [?]

On this blog, you’ll rarely see anything political, one because I don’t think anyone cares what I think about politics and two … logic would never prevail in politics because that’s not what the mob of idiots we call America these days wants.

However, I declare shenanigans on Hillary Clinton and anyone else that says we need an experienced person in office right now. Bull. It’s crap. You know it. Go sit and spin. From the way I see it, you are experienced in politics if:

• you fail at putting your voters choice above your own
• you force your ideals on the people in the land of the “free”
• you are concerned with fixing other countries other than the one that voted for you
• you approach all encounters with passion and ambition instead of logic and common sense
• you spend more money on improving the problem, not creating a solution

Continue reading ‘When Experience Is Worthless’ »

Popularity: 47% [?]

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a week that just sucked … this last week must have been my payment for my suck-sabbatical. First off, work was annoying beyond belief. Not because of the work (no, that didn’t come until Friday), but because of redoing the schedule again and again. As if the beatings for being a “Junior Engineer” who is not working as efficiently as a “Senior Engineer” that hasn’t been working on the project weren’t enough to make me want to flog management, the rampant obliteration of the schedule and project design as a whole the moment someone finds something inconvenient would surely be enough to shove me over the edge reason.

On the HTG side of things, we could be doing a lot better. Right now, it feels as if the sand is slipping from beneath us and instead of worrying about how to get out, we’re pretending there isn’t any sand. No, we aren’t going out of business, but you might call it a criss of conscious as to the business mentality. I’ve been whoring out my “development” skills for a meager $25 / web-based form. Additional income is good, but form stuff is just doesn’t have any challenge to it. Additionally, we will be loosing one of our business partners. While I wish I could say it was a shock, I’m not surprised because I think it’s been coming for about 3 months for him. His tireless effort and amazing intelligence will be sorely missed.

The one redeeming tidbit of this week was Valentines Day. Sara was surprised and pleased so I don’t think I could ask for much more in that arena … other than to have the fricken Irish Pub carry their damned creme brulée again.

And the final straw for this week? I discovered that global warming is letting the terrorist win. How? Check back later and I’ll explain ;-).

Popularity: 49% [?]

Alright America … sit down, shut up, and listen because I’m pulling out the soap box for this one.

I am tired, mentally and physically, of this crap. I’m not sure who perpetuated this self-indulgent bullcrap where people are “too sensitive” to hear about how poorly the are performing. I don’t know where this stigma came from that we can’t call people out for doing a terrible job, but it’s got to end … I mean it’s really got to end.

If I hear one more bullcrap line about, “Well, we’ll need to talk with so-and-so’s manager about that… blah, blah, blah.” BULLSHIT!!!

If they suck, tell them they suck! My word people … the only thing worse than the people that aren’t doing squat is the fact that we have a system that lets them do squat and get away with it. Screw that crap sideways. If you see someone sucking it up, and you don’t call it out … NEWSFLASH!!! you suck just as bad because you aren’t doing your job!

I’m not telling anyone to be a tattle-tale over who drank the last cup of coffee or stupid crap like that, but you know that point where someone is pulling this bullcrap. It’s about two steps before the everyone talks to each other behind the slackers back about how bad they are slacking, but no one has told the slacker or the person responsible for the slacker. Screw that! Call them out, tear them a new rectum, and let them know they suck in front of about half of your team and at least one manager who’s job is on the line for this person to perform properly.

I think we need to get some more public ridicule involved in the workplace. How many people do you think would shape up if they knew that their slacking would be splayed out the whole world too see??? Statistics show that one of the most important things to people at their place of employment is the perception of how they are recognized by their peers … with that little tidbit of info, seems to me that I’ve got a whole new motivational scheme going on here. Who wants hire me out for “Kick You’re Employees Asses’ Into Gear Classes?” Email wyatt@hackerforhire.org for pricing and scheduling information.

Popularity: 51% [?]

I know that I’ve done a terrible job at updating my blog with my latest rants, raves, recipes, and letters from retards; however, I’m going to change that for this year. You can call it a resolution, but the reality is that I miss writing about nit-wits

So in an effort to kick it off right, I thought it might be a nice change of pace to show you just what kind of interesting stuff the blog gets to see, but no one else does.

Top Search Term
This is the one that blew me away … top search phrases for this site are a riot

1. apple dip recipe
2. revenge stories
3. hacker codes
4. code snippet
5. trac pam
6. swfupload upload_script
7. evil ideas
8. ffmpeg 3gp codec
9. use firefox to hack it someone’s myspace

Where the hell is “hacker codes” coming from??? I mean, it brings up the Code Snippet page … but that doesn’t even come close to what I would take that to mean. An the last one … that is my absolute favorite because there were at least 3 separate people that searched for that, 3 different IP’s on 3 different days (different states too). I have no idea how the hell someone would come the the conclusion that Firefox would be the best tool to “hack” MySpace.com, but just … wow. I see that I also need to increase my evil output as well from what the search results show.

Most View Page [on site]
The page most clicked on, view, whatever-ed from the front page is … The Apple Dip recipe! Apparently, people love the apple dip so I’ll see what I can do to put up some new recipes at some point in time, but I never thought people would come here for food

Most View Page [referred]
The most view page … “Code Snippet 2.0″ I’d have to say that hosting this plug-in has taken up more time that I could ever imagine; but it’s been so worth it. I really wish that I had time to do all the other fun things I’d want to with it, but sadly it gets a lower priority. From seeing the number of page views (3800+), I think that I’m going to have to do just a little bit more work on it.

That’s all I have for 2007, I hope that I’ll have more in 2008.

Popularity: 50% [?]

Ok, I understand that people like to take pictures with their camera phone, I’ve come to terms with that … barely; however, there is something I feel I need to say. If you are going to take pictures on your phone, expect that at some point in the future, someone WILL look at the pictures on your phone.

That being said, if you are going to take nude or possibly compromising photos … and leave your phone sitting out on somewhere with the camera running … you must naturally expect that someone is going to see those photos.

Just so you know, this is going to put whoever looks at the pictures is in a slightly awkward position … especially when you know that person. On another related noted, it also makes that original person who is now either quickly snapping the phone shut or staring at the train wreck a lot more uncomfortable when someone else comes up behind them and asks to see the photos or ask what they were looking at. Responding “It was ____ and ____ doing the horizontal mambo and their junk was hanging out all over the place.” doesn’t roll off the tongue as well when you are serious about it

In reality, this goes for any digital-photography device. So on behalf of the world … don’t share that stuff unless you are sure the others would like to see it.

Popularity: 65% [?]

I’m a pretty big fan of Vmware. As a developer, it’s almost become an essential tool of the trade for keeping around different systems to test with, etc. so when the new beta version was released, I was right there to sign up. Here’s a few of my thoughts on the new beta.

First off, I swear to god Vmware, FIX YOUR DAMNED REGISTRATION FORM!!! I don’t need to fill out 75 fricken check boxes, including checking a check box that says “I’m not going to check any of these check boxes,” to try and register … especially if I have an account at your site. If I have an account, I should just be able to log in, register for my key, and start downloading. If this is the first impression people get of your site, what do you think they are going to think about your product? Exactly. Fix it.

Second, I don’t know why there is this need to shove Vmware Infrastructure down my throat, but you seem to feel the need to. Guess what, 70% of developers don’t need that type of system. Now some people that have to do really, really tricky multi-threaded, super-uptime system … but not me. Stop trying to force me to use something you think I want when for once, the customer actually KNOWS what they want.

Third, where did my windowed interface go??? You’ve replaced my nice, speedy, clean Windows/GTK application with a crap-ass Tomcat Java web-app. I understand the pain and suffering trying to build and maintain 2 different UIs; however, you went completely the wrong way with it. You should have just stuck with the GTK version of the application … cause you know, it runs on Linux and Windows! Damn you to hell with a stick and your stupid web-app up your ear sideways. It used to take me about 15 seconds to define a new system; however, thanks to the new and worthless UI that was obviously skanked from Vmware Infrastructure (there you go, shoving it down my throat again), it takes me almost a minute because of how terrible this new interface is. Don’t get me wrong, I like the new “System Summary” page, and it was missing from 1.0, but the other sacrifices just aren’t worth it. And before you go off into criticizing my hardware, 2.0GB at 2Ghz is enough to run Tomcat’s crappiness.

Other than that, the improved hardware (love the USB 2.0) and the currently running VM’s do great. Keep up the good work … and fix the damned registration page.

Popularity: 67% [?]

To the woman who question my automotive cornering ethics & capabilities at Sampson & Montgomery, you’re lucky there wasn’t a cop around. In the grand state of Ohio, as well as the rest of the United States, we do something called “driving on the right hand side of the road.” Now, I know that doesn’t mean a lot to someone with bug-eye sunglasses and severe learning disorder such as yourself, but to the rest of us, that concept hopefully prevents morons from driving down the wrong side of the road. That sort of thing generally causes loud sounds, blood, and paperwork … and no one likes paperwork.

Now since we have this fun “driving on the right hand side of the road” concept, the really smart people came up with the idea that people who are turning right also have something called the “right of way.” Impressively enough, it means just what it sounds like … the person turning right has priority in completing their turn (I’m sure you understand this since you’ve probably shoved your way to the front of the fat-sack line numerous times). What this also means is that if someone is turning right at an intersection before an obviously incompetent person such as yourself is attempting to turn left at the same intersection … the ‘left-turner’ must yield the right of way, something you obviously didn’t want to do … yet were “forced” into doing by the observation that I “might” have splatted you.

So for future reference you bag of vaginal dirt, yield the right of way unless you want to deal with loud sounds, blood, paperwork, and you loosing the license you probably don’t have anyway.

Sincerely,
Wyatt

PS: Don’t look at me, you’re ugly. Skank.

Popularity: 65% [?]