Hacker for Hire

Dear GoDaddy: You Suck

Wyatt • • Rants

Dear GoDaddy:

You suck.  Seriously, you suck so bad it makes my vacuum cleaner feel inadequate.  Do you realize how much vacuum cleaner therapy costs these days?  A lot.  And I’m not made of money, which is obvious since I’m using your crappy, cheap-ass tools as my domain registration service.

Can someone down there, preferrably someone without their head permenatnly lodged in their lower digestive-tract, please tell me why, out of all the horrible stupid and awful things you do on your site, that you choose to “automatically renew” a domain ON A CREDIT CARD THAT HASN’T BEEN ON FILE WITH YOU FOR AT LEAST 4 YEARS?!?!?!?  Why for the love of all that is holy and fully of rainbow-shitting unicorns would you have NOT used the credit card you’ve had on file for the past 4 YEARS?!?!?!

Seriously?  What kind of amateur night are you running down there?  All of the stupid crap that your website does (or for that matter, doesn’t do) I can forgive (or at least tolerate) but how in Al Gore’s name can you not get the one piece of software that makes you bank right? What. The. Hell.  I know damn sure that if those vultures at Visa/J.P. Morgan/Best Buy/Citi/Home Depot/etc would have had any, ANY, other account number on file for me they, they would have pounced on that sucker like Sheen on tiger blood and they would have surely charged me some dumb-ass tax for the fact that their system didn’t like it, filed under “account maintenance fees” or some bullshit.

I can deal with the crappy interface, the 9001 ads that I have to click through to effin’ checkout a $8 domain that will ultimately be $50 by the time you’re done adding fees to it, and the insanity that I can’t transfer a domain to another GoDaddy user without a sacrifice to Blood Chicken of Waataephukuistan … but for all that didn’t get raptured today, TAKE MY DAMN MONEY WHEN I TELL YOU TO!

Love to hate, don’t hate to love,


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