Hacker for Hire

More Letters from Idiots

Wyatt • • Rants and Technology

Man … it seems like the more of these I post, the more morons actually send me emails asking if I’ll help them out. You’d think that whole part about reporting people to the FBI and letting the Military Commissions Act ruin their lives would bother most people … but not these brave sacks of stupid! Anyway, on to letters.

acv writes:

i would like to log in this site http://www.editorialmanager.com/cb/ as an editor to know the identity of some reviewers.
can you help me?

avc

The Response:
Sure, no problem. First, open the site, you’ll notice that when you go to login, there are separate buttons for your login and one of them says ‘Editor Login.’ Click that one. You’ll notice that if it fails, that’s probably because you’re not an editor. Fricken mob tactics in a scientific journal on biology … that’s sounds like a Far Side cartoon or something. What are you going to do anyway? Drown them in petri dishes? Snap their bean plans in half? Crush all the blue eyed fruit flies? Give me a break.

Casey writes:

quick question: if we were to pay you, could you find out who someone is on this message board.. he has been harrassing the director of the film ‘alpha dog’ who is a friend of mine.

any info would be a great help.. thanks

http://www.imdb.com/user/ur13612877/boards/

fyi, i just googled hacker for hire..
if you cant help, if you know anyone who can, would be greatly appreciated. thanks

My Response:

Secondly, harassment should be dealt with by the local authorities; however, it is nearly impossible to harass someone as you are referring over a message board on the Internet (from the standard legal terms of what harassment is defined as). In this case, you would be looking more at a situation of slander or libel. Since your friend is the director of a film, this places him as a public figure and hence forth, the rules for slander are completely different (that’s why you can read all sorts of lies about politicians and movie stars).
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What I considered writing:

Dumbass Pete from some mac.com address writes:

Hi. I am looking for someone to hack a site for me.

The site is a blog in my hometown. It deals with gossip and it ruins many people’s lives in the guise of freendom of speech. The DA and everyone say that there is nothing anyone can do except in a civil suit against the posters – who are all anonymous guests.

I am told it is a CMC blog. PHP is also what I have noticed.

I do not want to take it down. I want to be able to get on and delete personal attacks whithout being noticed. – ie; who is gay, who is cheating on wife, who is stealing from company. Most are just lies against good people.

Can something like this be done?

My Response:

a writes:

my husband is cheating on me. can you help get into his myspace, its set to private. I want to be able to navigate through everything. how much will it cost? please let me know.

Well, if he’s cheating on you, why in God’s name are you still in the relationship you dumb bimbo? Dumb his ass on the curb! Generally, cheating is grounds for divorce and since he’s doing the cheating, you can own all of his stuff if your lawyer doesn’t suck; however, I don’t think you are capable of that since you posted this in a comment section where I was ridiculing other morons about asking me this crap! Don’t believe me? Look at comment #5 here. You’re an absolute idiot. I bet you’ll even stay with your moron husband.

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