Hacker for Hire

I really like my domain name, why else would I have bought the silly thing? Anyway, I like it. I think that it’s clever, catchy, and relevant to the service I wish to offer, Computer Security for LEGITIMENT BUSINESSES. I find that more and more, I’m receiving emails from people who want me to do illegal and unethical bull crap. I think I really need to get my FAQ up on what Hacker For Hire is and how it’s not a whole sale house for people who want to break into school computers and change grades, or people who want to read their husband’s or wife’s email.

So as a statement: IF YOU AREN’T A LEGITIMENT BUISNESS WITH A LEGITIMENT NEED FOR A COMPUTER SECURITY EXPERT, DON’T EMAIL ME ASKING FOR HELP ON WHATEVER STUPID YOU ARE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH. UNLESS YOU HAVE EXPLICT AND UNDENIABLE OWNERSHIP OF THE SYSTEM IN QUESTION, I WILL NOT HELP YOU IN ANYWAY.

Now, that being said, here are the most recent email I’ve received from people trying to get me to do dumb shit.

JJ writes:

Hello Mr Neal

JJ

Obviously, JJ is not every fluent in English. This is what I would call a very poorly crafted scam … someone wanting me to hack someones email and doing a very horrible job of wrapping it up in a cover story. First off, as a white hat, you know that most people don’t have very hard passwords, secondly, the people that work for the police know this too. If the email is at Hotmail, the cops can get a search warrant and take care of it, be done before, don’t see why it wouldn’t be done again. I do like the idea of the U.K. police being dumb enough to search for a year and not think to call up Microsoft and say “Um … hey, we’ve been at this for a year … do you think that we could look at the girls email?”

Moe writes:

Wyatt,
I looked thru your resume and it looks impressive, i am trying to get into an rediffmail.com account and having trouble using the password hint way, i was contemplating trying a phishing email, but am not sure how to go about excecuting it, i live and work in dayton, ohio and see you are in cincy, i was wondering if you could give me a hand. let me know, thanks.

-[name removed]

Sure thing, let me get right on calling your ass and email up to the FBI. If you’ve not been there, Rediffmail is an Indian mail site. Why would an Indian be working in Dayton and not operating a casino? What the hell do you mean you aren’t sure about how to execute a phishing email? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since the last moron wrote me. Oh the “magic” behind sending and email that says “Be a moron! Send me your shit!”

Big A writes:

Dear Neil,

Regards,
[name removed]

Wow … you found me on a Google search, I feel like I’ve known you my whole life, want to watch the house and drive my Ferrari around while I’m gone in Nigeria this week? So, you are willing to pay … so what? You said yourself that it’s unorthodox … that means you know it’s illegal and guess what, if it’s illegal I’m not even going to think about it.

Curious George writes:

Hi wyatt, I want to hire a hacker to change my educational record stored in a server of a professional body. I’m from Australia, the site itself should have low-to-medium level security, I am willing to pay a fair amt for your work. Is it something you can do?

Well damn George, if it’s got “low-to-medium” security, and you seem to know oh so much about security and how it’s implemented at your school/college, why don’t you just waltz right in there and change the fscker yourself? Oh that’s right, it’s because it’s ILLEGAL. I love the idea of someone that retarded enough to suck at school, but smart enough to know that they should try to get someone else to do the dirty work because it’s illegal. It would only be icing on the cake if George went to law school. Well, sorry Georgey-porgey, it’s not something I can do … why? BECAUSE IT’S ILLEGAL!!!

Alright, that concludes the festivities boys and girls (haha, a girl reading my blog:-)), I’ll be back with more as they roll in.