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The Aristocrats

Wyatt • • Rants

In any group, there is almost inevitably one very bad, very stupid inside joke. For one of my friends, I think it was “Bouncy-Bouncy” and another one it was the word “pineapples” (I could be completely wrong on that one). For more examples of context-less inside jokes, check out my quote page. Back on track … “The Aristocrats” is one of these very bad, very stupid things. You can find a lot more information on wikipedia than I will divulge here; however, you probably won’t find my rendition of the joke or my take on the documentary about the joke. The wiki article will also leave out how the documentary had so much potential to be funny, but sucked royally.

For those who don’t wish to head of to Wikipedia for a long winded explanation, the basic joke goes something like this:

A man walks into a talent agency with his family and says they have a brand new act, nothing like anyone has seen before. The talent managers say “Show me.” The family then undresses and proceeds to have an orgy in front of manager and close by taking turns crapping on the family dog. The manager, more than slightly taken aback, says “What the hell do you call that?!?” The man replys “The Aristocrats!”

Again, not a terribly impressive joke, not even a very good joke; however, the idea behind it is that you take an impromptu approach to the internals (the act that the family performs) and make it the most lewd, raunchy, tacky, and any other adjective that you can think of in an effort to get shock value from the audience. Other than that, the beginning (the talent manager) and the punch line (duh.) stay pretty close to the same.

So that’s the basic joke. Now, here’s where they screwed the documentary to hell. Instead of doing a nice sit down with each comedian, getting their, perspective on the joke, and then their rendition of the joke, the did a horrible, jumpy, piecemeal assembly of 10 seconds of comments from each comedian. The real joke was told in its entirety maybe 3 times from interviewing 100+ comedians. Most of the dialogue was brief lines of the joke that quickly jumped to another comedian explaining the history of this “secret handshake” among comedians. The continued chopping back and forth from comedian to comedian was highly distracting an deflated the interest in the joke.

Final say on “The Aristocrats,” it sucks ass because of piss poor editing and chronological design and I only hope the bonus features will make it worth the purchase.

Now … my rendition of the joke. Nope, sorry, not going to do it. Why? First off, I’m not allowed to. Remember, one of the primary premises of the joke is that it has to be improvised. While I could do that right now, it just wouldn’t be fair because I can write and re-write the blog all over the place. Secondly, some things just aren’t as good unless you get to see the other person acting along with it. :-)

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