Hacker for Hire

Stinkin’ People

Wyatt • • Rants

Maybe I’m just a freak and have a really sensitive nose … then again maybe I’m just a freak. Moving along though, I cannot stand stinky people. Not just the people who put way too much “Ode to Ratspit” on, but also those fine people who leave a plume of toxicity in their wake (a much larger group than you might think).

First up are the people that smoke. I love my family, but god help me, I can’t stand their smoking. My aunt smokes this one cigarette that smells like dirty socks being burned in a skunk fire and it makes me want to gag. I still cannot figure out how people continue to spend the price of a gallon of gas on stupid tiny paper sticks. For god sake, go smoke a glad plug-in or one of those stupid little pine trees that people hang from their mirrors.

The other one I absolutely cannot stand is body odour also known as BO. BO plagues those of us with sensitive noses on a daily basis. I can even tell when I stink even though other people around me say that they can smell nothing. There is nothing that drives me nuts to a higher level than to be at some place, enjoying the fresh air, when someone comes along and fowls it with their very presence. That’s fricken nasty!!! Take a shower! Hell, take five of them! Just wash that crap off and use some stink-be-gone. Do you think we are China and someone has for the first time in history introduced deodorant to our populous? And NO you are not allowed to use the excuse “Well, it’s the food I eat that makes me smell that way.” That’s a simple fix … don’t eat stinky food! Besides, that’s bull anyway. I’ve known man people who eat some nasty ass stank and they don’t smell like a foot. Now I know there are people out there with genuine medical conditions that cause them to be stinky bastards and to that I say, “Go get some damn pills and some soap! You’re stinkin’ up the place!”

Thus concludes my public service announcement. Many of you may think this is a harsh approach, and maybe it is; but rest assured, it’s an equal harsh approach.

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