Hacker for Hire

Phony Bologna

Wyatt • • General and Technology

As the time to join the Xetron workforce draws closer, I’ve been killing (hunting implies failure) around the mobile phone market trying to find a new phone/toy that will be “legal.” By legal, I mean no camera. As you can imagine, this is a huge pain the the butt because there are about 40 out of 4000 cell phones that meet this stringent little requirement. The number gets even smaller when you try to add Bluetooth into the mix.

Fortunately, I came across GSM Arena. They’ve got a niffy little “Phone Finder” tool that allows you select exactly the features you want (or don’t want in my case) and presents you with the answers. It worked so well, I was ready to cry. The best part is Google Notebook just arrived the other day and it makes a very nice place to keep my results. Here’s the phones that I’ve found that “might” meet Xetron requirements. I say “might” because I’m uncertain how they feel about phones that have internal memory even if you don’t have a way to access it other than downloading stuff from the web over a piddly 384kpbs stream. The phones are ordered as to my preference towards each, most popular one at the top.

Now I’m going to go complete off track and say “WTF?!?”

Would someone mind telling me why the “cool” phones never come out in the US first? If you look at my list, there are two Sony Ericsson phone on it. Both are usable within FCC regulations at connect to my Cingular service; however, Sony isn’t going to be releasing them in the US. I even checked their website. “Oh yeah!!! These are going to be out in the UK, the Middle East, Asia in about 2 months!” But the US is no where listed on the release schedule. In fact, all the countries around the US are on getting the phone … but not us. Explain this to me. Enlighten me as to why this stupidity is allowed to roam free in the world without someone killing it. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to buy it and import it off of the foreign websites. Guess what phone manufacturers … The Jerk Store called and they are all out of you! And while they were on the phone, they also said they were out of their biggest seller … your retarded marketing morons that say a camera has to be in every fricken phone!

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