OK, here’s the deal … my step-father has a contest for work to come up with a new name for the “superhero” of their motivational bull crap in the grocery store. The current hero has been struck by lightning and they are either looking to replace him or give him a new name. The hero, “Captain Stop,” (stupid ass marketing majors) fights against “Snidely Shrink.” The thing you need to know is that “shrink” is basically the waste of product(s) in the business, that’s basically what “Captain Stop” fights.
Why is this important? Because I am challenging you to come up with more creative names that we came up with and submit them as comments (as man as you like per comment). Here’s the list we came up with, try and come up with more or vote for your favorite!
- Penny the Prude
- Anal Alan
- Accidental Anal
- Admiral Anal
- Sylvester Stictmeyer
- Harry the Halter
- Conscientious Calvin
- Sir Calvin the Conscientious
- Sir Calvin the Conservative
- Senor Cease
- Cranky Colonoscopy
- Soup Nazi
- Horace the Halter
- Helen of Halter
- Preventative Percy
- Walter the Waste-Not
- Enigmatic Enema
- Orlando the Orifice
- Orlando the Observant
- Angus Retention
- Danny Do-gooder
- Dylan the Villain
- Harry Hard-on-Shrink
- Garfield the Grower
- Luke Shrink-stalker
- Fantastic Fannie
- Dudley Desister
- Naval Intruder
- Paranoid Patrick
- Paranoid Lloyd
- Fiona the Firm
- Flaccid Fruit Man
- Quaggy the Quagmire
- Ziggy the Giant Zucchini
- Sergeant Sassy-pants
- Jaundice the Unwashed Fruit
- Peter the Narc (P. Narc)
- Vanglorious
- Marty the Misanthrope
- Millie the Misanthrope
- Murphy the Misanthrope
- Cynic Sam
- Sally the Spice Weasel
- Singed Sid
- Ivan the Insubordinate
- Clogged-up Carl
- Stanley Staunch or Staunchy Stanley
- Thaddeus the Thwarter
- Sergeant Snafu
- Darth Brooks
- Darth Jones
- Klepto the Cherry Popper
Keep in mind, this was four of us, one hour, and a very bad thesaurus written by a vicious liberal (I’ll post a comment about it later.) Please submit your idea. If it’s selected, I’ll give you the ice cream that you would win!!!
Wyatt says:
Alright, now that I’m awake enough, the store about the thesaurus. This book was slanderous. Joe looked up “conservative” and come up with fuddy-duddy, fat, and all other sorts of mean nasty crap. So I told him to look up liberal and it had things like pleasant, nice, wondrous, etc. Slightly biased, but what can you expect from a book that say a synonym for “naughty” is purple.
5 May 2006, 10:13 am