Hacker for Hire

Wow … that was just … wow. I feel the need to put this down in words because I don’t have a video of it. This as close as I can come to a detail description of the occurrences of NNO 3/9/2006. Be warned though, if you are uncomfortable by the use of the word ‘foreskin’ and me paraphrasing, you may want to skip this post. I will have to say though, I think this was the funnies NNO ever.

Well, it started out with dinner at Red Robin. I told the story for Katy about how she smacked down some business majors using DeMorgan’s Theorem. During dinner, Amanda presented us with a rousing game of “Would you rather…?” Here are some fine examples of questions asked:

Would you rather eat a shot glass full of live wasps OR eat the shot glass?

Would you rather cheat on someone and no one know OR have everyone think you cheated on someone but you didn’t?

Would you rather have to have sex everyday or die OR never have sex again?

Would you rather be potty trained by a hobo OR have your grandmother explain the “bird and the bees” to you with pictures?

Would you rather burned in a “sensitive” spot OR burned on your face?

There where many others; however, it is the last one that sparked the conversation of the evening. I asked if the scar on the “sensitive” undercarriage was in any specific position, such as lengthwise on the bottom. I’m not really sure why I asked this because I think my answer would have been face, but none the less it was asked. Tim mentioned something about how it wouldn’t matter, people laughed and we paid the bill and left. After dinner at Red Robin, we proceeded to my house for some Xbox car crashing action.

While playing Xbox, Tim asked if the area I was referring to (the scar on the sensitive undercarriage) would be considered the foreskin … this is where the conversation goes down in the gutter. I called Tim out and said that the foreskin was not the bottom of the penis that it was the skin that surrounded the penis. At this point Amanda’s curiosity into what a foreskin actually looked like to which I posed the question, “Don’t you know if your husband has a foreskin or not?” This of course ensued into much hilarity. Especially the portion where she admitted she didn’t know and asked what one looked like. Being as everyone was laughing, I rose to answer the question by saying that a foreskin was the extra skin on a man’s wangdoodle. This lead to more laughter and more confusion. The basic example I was going with was imagine a finger, now imagine like some extra skin around the whole top portion that kind of like wraps around it. Obviously, this was not the best description but it was short notice. I did look, but I didn’t have any diagrams from Human Sexuality.

This brought the discussion to whether or not the finger was straight and if did it look different in each state which just lead to more and more wrongness. Keep in mind, we were still attempting to play Burnout and discuss this so that was added in as well. At around this time, Tim was probably more uncomfortable that I’ve ever seen him in his life, Will couldn’t breathe because he was laughing so hard and Amanda and Sara were nearly in tears of laughter. Tim decided to protest and say how this was an unacceptable conversation, to which we reminded him, he brought up the part about the foreskin. After this, I told Tim that I wasn’t quite comfortable with his hand gesture when he was previously trying to determine where the foreskin was located on the penis (he wasn’t aware of his actions but everyone else was embarrassed for him).

This was about the end of it until Amanda told us that one of her friends who was getting married used to ask her all kinds of questions about sex like how big was it, does it like creep up or go SPROING!!!! into an erect position (I like the use of the word SPROING!!!). This of course just dug the hole deeper and led to another question about the relation of penis size to hands and feet. Again, being the only one able to respond (Sara, Will out due to laughter and Tim just shaking his head), I said that they aren’t determinations of size; however, sometimes, there is a close correlation. Tim responded to this with some more shame and I made a crack about him and Amanda having a long talk when they got home and how Tim was going to be asked to show his junk. Tim asked if Amanda was going to get some pictures of the Internet to compare to him or if he just was supposed to line up with some of his friends so they could be like a “More Bars” Cingular commercial. At this point, I wanted to make the crack about how the bars might be upside down, but I abstained for the moment and decided I would add it to the blog story .

That was the entertainment of the night. That being said we watched some Monty Python. I attempted to make this as accurate as possible and everything written here happened; however, I am sure that I left out some things, so if you see a discrepancy, feel free to comment and add to the story. Oh yea, Tim asked me to leave names out of this to protect the slightly insane. I didn’t .