It has been a little while since I’ve posted some good evil ideas for you conniving little extortionists and I think you are about due. Why do I do this you ask? Well, two reasons. One, I think that the evil needs to be distributed to the masses to prevent one sect from getting too much evil dealt to them or dealing out too much evil unduly. Two, I know how hard it is for people who aren’t naturally evil to come up with good, cheap, effective evil ideas. As a public service, I present to you my most recent evil ideas. If you have anything that you think would be a good evil idea, feel free to submit it to one of my many email addresses and I’ll give you all the credit and it will be immortalized for awhile on my site (traffic is increasing oddly enough). Oh yeah, I’m not responsible, you’re an idiot and blah blah blah.
1. Evil Marketing
If you know me, you know my hero and idol is Dogbert. I think today that I really found a way to exceed his expectations and get into his contact list as a worthy competitor. Even though I know he would crush me in a matter of days, it would be worth it. Anyway, the idea is simple. Standard Ethernet uses 2 pairs of wires in the cable. That leaves 2 pairs unused. so you could split the other 2 pair out of each end cable them off. So now you have a cable that can support a dual NIC systems. The best part is that it can be marketed out as a solution to help with cutting down on the amount of cable used in data centers. It doesn’t matter if one pair goes down, you still have the other pair to keep you running. It doesn’t matter if they can’t replace it, they should have though of that before they bought 1.6 miles of cables. Dogbert would be proud.
This one is mainly for the girls, but guy can take advantage of it too, though it would be crossing some lines guys weren’t meant to cross. If you are a girl and you don’t know how particular guys are about their wallets, you must have never had a date in your life. So to get the point across, guys are particular about their wallets. Now I know if you are a guy you are saying “No, no no.” But inside your really saying “God no! No! No! No!” cause you know how right I am. Seriously, when is the last time you got a new wallet? And if it was recently, how long had you had your previous wallet? Twelve years for me personally. Now the evil part. Take the wallet (no, don’t keep it) and rearrange everything it it. Move all the credit cards and change the bills around and all kinds of other crazy things. Put in out of date cards and information, old receipts and stuff like that. Be warned though, it is a good chance the guy will either cry or kill. Update: Apparently this will only work on me.
3. A Bad Tip
Credit where credit is due. This idea was sent in by Steve “something or other.” He’s the guy that was at Dave’s birthday part with the wonderful cop stories. Anyway, the setup. You’ve gone to a resturant, you’ve had a horrible experience with your server(s) and you want a little retaliation. Obtain a glass of liquid approximately 1/3 full. Drop in your tip. Cover the glass with a piece of paper or the drink menu or something similar. Flip the whole thing upside onto the tableand pull out the paper/menu and let surface tension do the rest.
That’s all for now. Remember, I am not responsible if you try any of these things and a person in a black robe with a small novelty hammer will inform you of how personal responsiblity works if you get caught.